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Sunday, August 26, 2007
i did cry, cried a whole lot...
i do feel like crying again...
im just not down for the taste of jealousy...
i dun take photos with guys and post it all ard...
i dun say i love you to other guys and meant it...
i dun go hugging guys and touching them...
moreover, i dun know why im feeling like this...
Being with him is just the worst thing, even though
there were good times but the worst times were
really baddd...
Asking jeeboon whether i suck, he said im too
close with guys and that i treated him lyk a maid..
i certainly feel that i dun suck. I am whom i am...
I am pampered, i am a joyous friendly person.
Abt the maid part... i walk to his hse from the
mrt alone all the time... I carried my lappy all
the way... You dont wash my plates... The
only thing i ask for is you buying food for me!
You dont EVEN send me home....
I am close to guys but i wont have mixed feelings
and try to get fresh or even flirt...
Proberly those days of slutty me had fade away...
if ever you think i treat you like a maid, then
my parents are SUPERMAIDDD...
they wash my plates,bring in my plates from
the living room,serve me water,send me all ard,
wake me up,wash my clothes,cut fruits every
night for me and not including they have their
own things to do... My daddy never complain
to me that i suck bcoz i only eat and refuse to wash
or bring in my plate&cup...They does these
out of love and of course i know not to always do
that...
I guess,after 4 guys the problem lies in me,
choosin the wrong guy and falling into desparation?
is that it?
If i waited a lil longer and not express my likings
to him, we proberly wont be together...
One thing, i did regret is i knew he had a nasty temper.
what for i still be with him?
Is it bcoz he did change and tone down?
maureen don't you know that a leopard won't change
its spots? Or are you just hoping it would and
be naive?
Or is it you though he treated you right at first
and perhaps heyy you found your catch?
Apart from blaming yourself for starting this rls,
what for you went conceiling those bad points
after who both had a perfect break up a week ago?
What for giving him up hopes that we would
always be together?
What for going to his house on the 24 of august
just to surprise him? And in the end what did you
get?
I tell you what did you get!
"you are here" kind of look...
Did shock and a sense of love from maureen
went through his head?
Or perhaps he thinks that i am waking him
up from his beautiful sleep?
You went there with a hungry stomach!
Hoping he would buy you a snack.
But i didnt get it...only after 2H 30 mins later...
He kept shouting at you that you treated
him like a maid, as you NAGGGED
him to buy you smth to eat over and over agn?
perhaps, i don't dare to buy alone...
perhaps you dunno i rushed to your freaking hse
and that i was tired to move ard too...
i gave in! I GAVE INNN!!!!! did you say anything?
you left me standing downstairs alone... You
will never let me stand alone... You didnt even look
back to see whether did left sitting on a mercedes benz.
All you did that day was to give me a tired sloppy
look. Must i always be ill treated whenever i step
foot into you hse?
Must i always cry whenever im with you?
I cried on your birthday, did you feel my pain?
DID you know for you i never study finish?
Do you know why im always scared you will
break with me for another slut... Because I KNOW
you are liddat... You left jo for ying.left ying for me.
the senquence WILL go on...
Trust, I know whats trust. I gave you trust!
I wanted trust bcoz i know that i wont leave
you for another man. I know i wont fall in love
with another man when im attached.. I know
that... bcoz i know how to divide friendship,love
and infectuation....I may be close with my
friends, But i also know how to make my thick
line.... all my ex, sayings im too flirt, but if you
were the guy im talking to, you know im not
flirting with you..................
You were once my friend, you know i didnt flirt
with you when i was with melvin... did i?
Or are those guys including you feel insecure
bcoz i attractive and guys fancy me?
DID you know i already got you a bd gift?
Your havanas on your feet doesnt come free
you know! But yet you told other that you
brought it yourself... do you it hurts?
You demanding for a gift on my exam week!
i where got time to produce one...
Do you know im broke after i gave you $100!
DID you know i dun have to give you a single
cent for you phone! you threw my bag, you
dare me to threw your phone!
These days i stinged on myself... I only had
$12 to spend last week...On top i had to
pay for bowling..... Do you know my pain?
No 1 knows my pain....
No 1 sees me crying...
No 1 wipes my tears...
im always the bad person...
perhaps breaking up is a good thing..
i just dunno why im crying...
perhaps im feeling the pain from u again...Labels: Too much pain
Xue Hua
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