+ home
+ contact
+ archives
<$BlogArchiveName$>
+ reads
+ add
+ your
+ links
+ below
Blogger
|
|
Monday, May 08, 2006
im crazy
im mad
im sad
im depressed
im lonely
im down
im unhappy
im lifeless
im restless
im crying
im struggling
im dying
im just not myself
i shall not force myself to put up a smile. haiz. gladly im not thinking much abt things in school. at least im able to smile crap ad play n school. but at home. i am struggling to overcome the above. ytd i got a wake up calling from cedric... m i that bad??? haiz... i dunno.... but now i do... i do realise my friends drifting from me... i realise im not myself... i realise im trying sooo hard too please others or follow others and not realising this is totally not me.... i dunno wad m i now... i cant find maureen... i dunno wad who is maureen... haiz... im faking everything that im dunno how to find myself again.... i dunno whether i started to force myself to put up a smile when i am depressed... i dunno when i started keep things to myself.... i dunno whether i started to smile sooo much when im always dao.... i dunnoe when i started destressing myself by eating and after that just sleep...i dunno when i started to choose boyfriends over friends....i cried the whole night.... til my eye backs revealed... what has happened to me???my life is really screwed now... i need enlightenment.... i keep running away from everything.... haiz... now my mummy cant even advice me..... i just hope someone will pray for me.... haiz... i dunno how to repent.... haiz... will someone tell me wad happened to me??? wad have i changed???i wanna noe and find back myself.... HELP??!!!???
Xue Hua
| 11:58 PM
|
|