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Sunday, April 23, 2006
i think i am a bloody fool... simply a fool...well i guess i am really suay... haiz... my life is rather sucked up when come to love and friendships...i know this until today that actually my friendship are ruin.I guess i tried sooo hard to mend things which i know its not worth it,not possible,but yet i still try my best...but obvious i am too navie lahz... I thought my love life was all along sucky but friendship are no beta
well one incident really cause my friendship and lover to be at stake...I lost all really lost all...yupp i guess i deserve it... hahha... well in my dairy i put there... do i really care???no.... hahah... but i am lying to myself... those were the ones who made me happy and those were the ones who mold me to the person i am today... well just today TODAY then i know real true friends stays but others will jusst be a passing crowd... I tried so hard to get back those friends after losing them. i tried explaining to them... i even forgot those harsh and bad times... I GaVe In... but i guess i am just sooo stupid... tooo stupid... As things can never be the same before... as not everyone is lyk me who is willing to fogive and forget... able to put things behind and really start anew... i am able to do that...(now u noe y i have short term memory)... In this world people are realy backstabbing each other... and mouths just open and close without stating facts... haiz... i am damn sad now...
these things i am saying doesnt apply to sammy at all...bcoz if you guys know i never even tired explaining things to sammy as i believe if our friendship is real then it will remain... But sooo far we are doing fine... But we will never go out together anymore...hahah we are damn scared....i am damn scared...
friend A...and friend B... is shall not say who... those two were the most important people in my life... friend A and friend B were there for me everyday... there wasnt a day without one of them...
friend A is a person who i know is a person whom take things for granted... (it)took me for granted... we were close because we clicked well and crap well...(it) made me laugh a lot...(it)was one i really cared for...when (it) was down... i was there...when (it) had problems with (it)'s love life... i was there...everyday...every moment...everytime... But when it was my turn to have problems... (it)was there for me... i cant deny... But not every moment...everytime... It got worst when (it) found someone (it) liked...things changed...(it)wasnt there for me when i needed (it)... everything to (it) was the person (it) liked... well i can understand... haiz...but i hate it....after that incident..(it) was at a fixed place...(it) had to decided whether to side me and friend B or not to side (it)'s lover...(it) told me a lot abt wad my other friends said...until now i can still rmb...how sluty how bitchfied their words were... because of love,because of misunderstanding... we fell out...
Friend B is a person i know for a very very long time...we used to play a lot together... we had very good impression of each other... i THOUGHT i knew a lot of things i do not know abt (it)... friend A and B knew each other because of me... haha... we 3 used to play together a lot as we shared to same interest... friend A and B knew all of my friends... haha... so we often go on group dates....(it)left me bcoz of friend A...(it)was jealous...(it)isn't close to friend A...soon over time friendB doesnt want to go out together with friend A...(it) wanted just the two of us...friend A is my best friend... MY BEST FRIEND... the one i treasure a lot...But i chose to listen to friend B...because of the different status...
Soon after that incident...friend A hang out with my other friends and we became enemies...I hate (it) for leavin me.... while friend B because of the that incident... just because A SCENE with friend A... our our lives together were ruin...friend A and B were one of the 5 ...they were the 2 whom i treasure and took consideration over... Today i realise those 2 were the worst out of the 5... the last 1 whom i never thought was actually the best... but too bad i have no feelings... the last 1 is my true friend... shocking??? everyone used to mock him upon hearing his name... but he is the best... really the best...
to friend A
congras on u now liking my close friend... I actually tried to mend things with u... u told me that things would not be the same as before... yupp it wont... but at least i made an effort... i think u are still worth my friendship... I loved the times when we were together... its unforgetable... i know u didnt really want back to friendship i can tell when i asked u out... ur answer was see first lor... hmmm u never said that to me before... NeVer... hmm u told me u were busy studying everyday. But i after wad i heard u offered another out.. i guess i am tooo naive... i tried too hard to mend things with u... u reject my offer of gg out... but offered another out...busy my ass... its obvious that u dun1 this friendship at all...i am utterly sad...i thought u were my true friend...but u walked away... i am not angry with u bcoz of the past but bcoz u walked away...
i think i sound really harsh... but i just wanna get this off my chest... now i really dunno how to choose friends...i really dunno...From this incident its tells me that i cant be too close to anyone regardless guy or gal...I should not keep going out with one particular person or group... I think i shall just be lyk jeanie... everyone is her friend... i think i shall just mixed with everyone... and keep liew&candice as my bestest friend!
Xue Hua
| 4:39 PM
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