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Monday, March 13, 2006
i hate sundays. hmmm sunday is the day to praise the lord and a day when my sufferings started.haiz.close friends wld know what i mean.its been 2 weeks since the tragic event.
today was a day i was looking forwward to.... but it was a disaster....i missed kor kor sooo much as its been ages since i saw him.....As i was in the car gg to AMK library to meet him.....my heart and mind was in a mess!!!Pain stuck my heart as my car passed by blk 564....haiz.....the room....that night....cheryl last hugs.....the last wave from him as the door closes upon my face..... sobx....(crying)no one will understand my pain.... repeated phrases like he is a jerk forget him!!!!stop dreaming if u keep thinging of him u r the only one who would suffer....I KNOW I KNOW!!! but i cant stop but think rite????hmmm i love him a lot a lot.haiz..... well love is soooo complicated and it really hurt....
well the pain didn't stop there...at MOS burger hmmm i was thinking what if i see him and her??how shld i react??what shld i do????haiz.....then after studying we went bugis fusion to have a game....haiz....a paradise which belongs to me and sion.....zakir was lyk asking wheres your gang??? in my heart was lyk i got dumped le lahz....bf run with another gal....bert and i not close le.....i m all alone....haiz.... sad isn't???hmmm kor kor was realy sweet he was really concerned for me as i looked very sian and my pool skills sux totally....i lied to him that i was tired but the fact is that i missed him a lot....haiz.....but the outing with kor kor was pretty nice!hmmm i spend the day with zakir my lil brother and him....lol... my lil bro and kor kor was lyk talking abt army the whole time....felt sooo felt out,luckily got zakir!!!! hahaha... A great guy to me!considering i am a regular of fusion! lol...
my lil bro(nicholas) told me on the way walking home...he was saying have FAITH in god...have FAITH that u will forget him.... FAITH FAITH FAITH.... AaWWWww.... sooo sweet lahz.... hmmm another vulable lesson for him....he will certainly become a good young man....i love u nicholas and thankew for all those bible preachings....i guess i must read the bible everyday and bulid up the connection with the lord.....i told kor kor today that i will HIm silently as least i won't get hurt since the relationship had not started,how can it end????haiz. i know its not worth it at all but i m still looking for a person who wld blind me over HIm.A person who wld love me and treasure me.A person who i can look up to,lean on,lots of confidence and both bf and husband material(means he have a aim in life...know how to earn money and have plans in setting up a family)...One who would pamper love care and concern me.... understand my feelings.... have time for me... wld make scaricfies for the benefit of the rls.... someone who will love me ONE person and wldn't eye for another...haiz... It will take a very long time to find my materialised boyfriend but i will wait as dun wanna suffer investing on another rls which doesn't last or not worth my love and my whole heart....
Xue Hua
| 12:21 AM
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