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Saturday, February 18, 2006
just came back from camp.it was super dupa boring.hmmm very lonely there.all my friends are gone.well the best part was i had gastric i didnt have to eat bbq food,dun have to play those stupid game nor i have no be forfeited.lol.my heart and feelings have not been betta.all i can say its getting worst.friends tell me not to give up stay strong.some told me to tell him.these advices i have heed.but theres nth i can do.i tolerate a little too long.i gonna break down.i know this is not me but i cant show my attitude in front of him as it will make things worse and i will be in the wrong again.i mean it is really getting out of hand.i m not treasured luv care or concerned.i m being a punched bag for him.i m reall very sad.not even once a week i can see or talk to him.no more smses from him.dun even say a phone call.u know how sad i feel?i gave everything i got.the reasons to these problems he can give is that he is busy.qiu talked to be ytd which make me think back on out rls.she said sion really luv u.hmm this sentence really doubt me.i am supposed to trust him.but this time i cant.things have gone too far.i can control my feelings.i really feel that i m going to break down the second time.the first was sooo misery and scary as i scolded my coach and attitude everyone.now really no one understands me.i guess i have my own fault i invested too much and really put in my real feelings as i tot i wld not be hurt.but now i am really hurt.i cant stop crying now.i really dunno what to do.break this word keep running through my mind but friends and all encourage me not to give up and lets what time can do to heal this rls.i dunnoe what to do now? i luv him but my heart is really pain...Is this a test from god???i dunnoe.i am willing to take it but i noe it hurts a lot a lot.only thing i know i have done my part to be a gd gf.the rest is up to him.my blog is filled with my saddness and miserable rls of mine.almost every entry there is something wrong in this rls. m i too young to take this rls? m i prepared that nx yr he will go army and things will be worse? is luving the person able to blind all his flaws???but i dun seem to be blinded as the way he treat me is sooo painful....
Xue Hua
| 6:12 PM
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