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Sunday, February 26, 2006
he told me the truth....finally the truth....i feel so cheated.....i feel lyk a slut.....i feel dirty.....i am so disguised by them....this rls is hanging on a thin thread....i m gg to be a spare tyre again??will my true luv and confection pay off?? i deserve beta.y must she come back."If she /he is yours no matter what happens you all will be together."Is this sentence applying on he and ting???Should ii give in... kor kor told me that he is happy as theres is me in his life whom luv him sooo much and willing to give and he have a choice between 2 girls if he cant go back to his ex.he can find me.obviously i do not want to be a spare tyre neither do i wana suffer.But there are some things that only my truthful and loyal freind liew knows.THE REASON....of me hanging on...partially i luv him deeply as i put my whole heart into this rls.Next i hate short term relationship.there are a few more but i shall keep it between me him and liew...haiz....He is going to make a decision.ppl tell me not to wait to be dumped but i think it is betta than i breka with him and i give TINg him for free....And i will feel beta that i m dumped because i know i gave my all he cant appreciate it he will get his retibution for ill treating.One day the one he love will do that to him and he will know that he made a great loss.I know true friends know i am a good gf even though u have lot of close guy frenz but for him i reframe from gg out with them and drew a thick deep line.If people who read my blog they will know how much i give in to him and the price i paid(scarifice) to make this rls last.As i type this i feel sooo foolish to be in the palms of his.HE can squash and play with my feelings anytime now...I dont dare to tell these to candice i scared that she will pound him...Yesterday he sms me everything abt ting...he treated me as a friend already and the advises i gave was from a friend point of view...hmmm i m good in giving advises and cheer guys up because all they need is company and someone to understand.hmmm guess im good at that.=) not for girls lahz because they will not listen de an opposite sex advise is usually beta.Now no one but liew is saving me from the black hole.... i m sooo happy that through these weeks of suffering i actually gained a lot of truthful friends...now i know who are my true friends and who are the wants who i cant listen too....I m very sad now....I think only liew will understand because asusual i nv keep things from him and i trust him and his advise....O ya... i wana thank jeanie!!!!she rox....hahha...i know she dun wanna me to continue with this rls...but she told him wad i felt....I guess jeanie knows that i love him deeply...thankew gal...hmmm u beta take care of ur health!!!I dun wana anything to happen to u.... i shall have to say i envy jeanie lots lots lots!she has a good job good bf good results and she knows how to study streetsmart.hmmm but she have a lot of family problems lahz....hahaha....I dunno how she can juggle weida and everything else....hmmm been wondering for a very long time...hmmm jeanie share ur tips man!!!hahahaha....I dunoe when i will be back to normal and cheery inside.I know i will be cheery in school as i need to put a mask on to prevent the ppl beside me to feel stressed and sad too ma... lol....but i keep thinking how i m being cheated... been thinking since the day he told me the bad news that he is working with jing ting...thats when our rls problem isnt only abt he not having time for me....but there is a 3rd party....haiz... is ting a bitchfied slut???hmmm i dunnoe maybe its not her fault...hmmm not sure....friends or ppl who read this... hmmm if u see me cheer me up by crapping or give me a hug i think thats wad i really need now....externall luv and care.....
Xue Hua
| 8:59 AM
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