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Tuesday, January 31, 2006
pissed off with u
hmmm today just simply sux man.haiz.my holi just end with a hash landing whihc killed me!my heart just burst out into blood(tears)and parts are being quashed(broken).haiz y was it lyk that it ruin by mr cuthbert chan jun jie and mr sion tan wei liang.hmmm mr cuthbert im sorry for hitting u but u deserve it u beta not say F* you anymore to me.i dun except it.u noe u rulez and u dare scold me.haiz.today collect $14 WORTH OF ang pao but i had to pay for something far more.my rls with my bf.hmmm well it started when he ignore me at cuthbert hse then left us all whne he is supposed to spend the ay with me.no budding goodbye.hmmm well ur may think this is nth but to me theres something.well even not it just caused my blood to boil and erupt me into a conclusion of breaking.hmmmm so i just sms him lets break.well he reply huh?and then another can tell me WHY.hmmm i told him i wana break.then he replyget to the bottomline..what u wan?..hmmm i nv even make him angry lahz.he things i say break is just to make him angry hey i do mean it.!!!then i reply.nth.nvm.hai.then he reply NEXT TIME IM SERIOUs.hmm dun understand this sms sooo ask wad he meant?..he replynvm...piss off....where u... i said where i was and told him y i was angry and sad.hmmm then he say okie okie dun say liao....love u!....then later in the night he sms me Dear where r u?...hmmm so i called him..in the end got scolded bcoz it was pasted 7 ans he had no free incoming,wtf i use my hp to call him too lahz.waste his money is = to wasting mine! so i sms him we can choose not o care abt our rls prob but it wont resolve.we will quarrel on once a week got once in 2 weeks.haiz i luv u far too much and i hate to quarrel and suffer ( cry feel sad no phone call no sms feeling lonely ) then he reply u at daryl hse lei i sms u will reply meh.. i might as well sms u lata... haiz... u need not do anything de.... dun say break when u do not mean it.dun be lyk jing ting ( his ex) i hate it! sooner or lata i will feel numb...then i reply it does matter 2 me whether u treasure me a noti feel that im super suffering,i tell u when im sad n stuff but u just dun care as u nv reply my sms.wad do u wan? u tell me? i cant break with u ...wad shld i do in oreder u stop making me suffer?he reply i hope u wont la.... break......dun be lyk her liao.... pls!!! kind of scared liao really..... sometimes i duno wad u r thinkgin.... sorry i very helpless somethimes...then i reply it s not sometimes its all the time really dunno wad u 1.hmmmm u are always duno wad im thinking? i alwasy tell u but do u listen? u end up scolding me say i compare u with mel... y i compare is to tell u that i dun lyk wad u r doing.... i told u.... u just dun care dun listen and not u dun understand....i tell u when im not happy but do u change or listen???? nooooo u make things worse by saying other stupid stuff making me piss off bcoz u are not interested in hearing wad i got to say.... u rather we not quarrel in another sense DUN SOLVE THE PROBLEM and when i sms u tt im sad angry or crying u nv reply my sms bcoz u r slping the nx morning u nv reply....hmmmm u saay nei.....how i noe whether u understand how i feel?!!!!?AND I DUN EVEN NOE HOW JING TING IS!!!! HOW NOT TO ACT LYK HER!!! ah!!! hmmm and now u wanna solve the problem tml bcoz he are pissed off....one thing i hope he will get it clear...his sis call me and chat with me...she ask me whether im gg their hse on sat... i say see first... i dunnoe then she was lyk i tot u every sat sun will come de... i dunnoe how she noe but she ask me... u and kor kro quarrel ah... then i say ya.... but it got nth to do with me coming on sat and sun....hmmm bcoz sat i have CIP stuff ma...hmmm cheryl mei mei can tell when im sad and stuff.... and she comfort me...hmmm y cant he tell when im sad.... and why can he comfort me... my sis can sms say jie jie dun cry le ( she even noe that im crying!! ) slp early good nites.miss ya very very veyr much luv ya. she can sms such a sweet sms which make me cry bcoz i was soooo overly touched...hmmm then he sms and scold me say SO u call my hse?and i duno WHY m parents know la....ok? i very pissed off now.super pissed!....now everything my fault lahz....hmmmm okie fine....first u dun understand how i feel despite me saying...nx u dun wana solve the prob.....now u accuse me of something i didn't do.....lastly u dun wana reply my sms or call....wad do u want!!!! wad shld i dooo!!! did i do something wrong?????haiz.... fren reading this pls advice and enlighten me... i dunnno wad to do or say....i just now i cant slp now... its lyk 12 now....haiz i cant cry at night as it will cause me to not slp.... tml sch.... i dunnow whether i can handle..... i just untterly sad... even if he read this now.... i duno whether he wil understand or change..... everyone noes i luv him a lot and i dun wana break... but sooooo?we looove each other but cant get along.....hmmmm well i prefer the days when he wooo me.... but now it willl nv come back until he realise tt when im not ard i mean sooo much to him... shld i gooo china again??? haiz.... the days in china we missed each other and after tt we noe how important one another is.... haiz...now i dunnoe how to we will resolve it... only thing i really wish for is him to be there for me when i need him... just this simple sentence but bcoz of these our rls is breaking apart.......which happened the same as my previous 2....
Xue Hua
| 11:08 PM
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