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Wednesday, November 24, 2004
Dear O might god hear my prayer... i am sad... i wanna have more friends... i cannot be alone... never... i hate being alone... but too bad i am just not friendly enough to mix around and make really true friends... i am good in making friends... true friends... very hard... haiz... i nearly cried during the council farewell party... i was alone the whole time... not even valene was there for me... and of cause melvin cannot be there for me... i am so hurt... i really need a person who i can lean on... shre my feelings... now a days i cannot share everything with melvin... i just cant... he will be jealous... i cant tell him how much i still like yong sheng... how much i need HIS(melvin) love and care... i cant just tell him... i don't feel right... i love melvin i really do... but i cant forget yong sheng... WHY??? i asked my friends whether its worth for me to jio yong sheng back... but i believe the love yong sheng used to have for me has fade.... fade away... i really need love and care from anything... jenifer was there for me... today i found out why i have terrible mood swings... its because of lonelyness... i am very scared to be lonely.... i have been lonely for nearly a year... am i experience it just now... how painful it was... like a dragger piecing into my bloody heart... after feeling lonely and keeping quiet... if anyone just do little thing to make me angry... i can give black face or even beat the person up... i nearly wanted to beat nathaneal and desmond up TODAY... desmond treated me as a fool... a servant... to everyone out there... i will never be pushed around by others... NEVER... i am a strong girls with a very terrible past... i beat people up in my primary schoold before... i beat and scold my parents... i dare to do other BAD things to anyone to makes me angry... if i can say it i will do it... man i am dammn angry man...
Xue Hua
| 2:27 PM
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